the red menace

In my post-law firm career, I taught several first year legal research & writing courses at a couple of different law schools.  It involved my reviewing and editing millions of legal research memos and briefs per semester (or so it seemed). I always used my beloved red pen to grade papers, a habit dating back to my days of copyediting and proofing manuscripts when I worked at a think tank. In those early days, the red PaperMate Flair Pen was my weapon--I mean tool--of choice, but I have since become sweet on the Sanford Uniball Vision Elite.  Its "Airplane Safe Technology" prevents leaking on airplanes. (Am I starting to sound like Sandefur paying homage to his favorite pen last month? Someone stop me if I sound like Tim Sandefur!)

To my surprise and dismay, many of the students in law school lacked basic writing skills despite the fact that they had managed to graduate from college with reasonably decent grades. In any event, the combination of their poor writing plus my picky-picky- picky editing meant that most of the papers I graded appeared hemorrhagic.  As a student once cried when I handed back her work, "Omigod, it's totally bleeding!" Another commented, "It's black and white and red all over!"

Although they never complained about the substance of my comments, many students half-jokingly begged me to switch to another pen color.  I always refused.  Half-jokingly of course.  I like the red because it stands out in contrast to the black type.  Red warns, "Alert! Alert! Here is something you need to change if you want to pass this class." I tried to ameliorate student anxiety by framing my actual comments in a nice way, an act that sometimes required more creativity than one can muster in one sitting.  (How many times did I write, "This is an interesting interpretation of the case law" or "Help me understand your argument here"? )

Now it turns out that many government schools have blacklisted the scarlet beauty on the grounds that its use is "too stressful" for the students and parents.  Schools prefer their teachers to use kinder, gentler colors like purple.  I confess that I've had a brief dalliance with the purple Uniball this semester (I now run a law school clinic and have to edit the students' legal memos and client correspondence), but the grading experience just isn't the same.  For one thing, purple doesn't stand out as well.  And although it's one of my favorite colors for general purposes, it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi (and I don't know what that is) for grading purposes.

So let them try to take away my red Uniball, but they will have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Comments

[Timothy Sandefur]

You should be so lucky. You know, it's unwise to pick on your only reader.

Ooh! that was a good one.

[dgm]

mom--is that you?