leggo my leg-o!

We took the kids to Legoland over the weekend.  As a kid, I loved amusement parks because  I loved all but the nausea-inducing rides.  As an parent, I think I would prefer to stab my eyes out rather than fork over hundreds of dollars so that the kids can walk around looking at amusement-park-themed stuff and eating overpriced food without much interest in the rides. For some reason, riding lots of rides is the only way to justify paying ridiculous prices.  It feels like money well-spent (or at least money not entirely wasted).

This time, since Jade knew we were planning this trip if Kai could read us a book, she was excited about the prospect; it helped that she had advance notice.  Bell was excited not because he loves over-the-top theme parks (he usually avoids them) but because he was so looking forward to getting lots of new hinges and wheels and other pieces to expand the creative possibilities of our current Lego collection.  I think he figured that the whole world of Lego pieces would be available for purchase right there at Legoland. 

And Kai--Kai was excited to go because he gets excited about everything, and I do mean everything.  (At Christmas the first present he picked up to open contained a robe and pajamas, the perfect present to deflate a child's anticipation of getting cool stuff.  Realizing his strategic error, Jade attempted to steer him away from the soft rectangular shirt box, but he insisted on opening it first.  I braced myself for disappointment when he ripped off the lid but instead, after staring at it for a moment and asking, "A robe?", he declared, "I've been waiting for one of these!  Can I put it on?"  And he spent the next ten minutes hugging himself in the robe and wallowing in its warmth and softness.) So Kai is pretty much always enthusiastic about anything, and he has a special love for Legos and amusement parks. (Recall, e.g. his excitement over the lamp posts and cracks in the sidewalk at Disneyland.)

We walked around a bit and then headed to the Lego Clubhouse, which is where they sell a quatrillion Lego pieces of different sizes, shapes and colors.  Bell and the kids set about looking for the pieces they wanted.  I walked around browsing at nothing in particular when a little boy with big brown eyes and long-ish hair and a red t-shirt rushed up to me and fell to his knees.  He grabbed my calf and held on for a long moment.  It took me quite by surprise of course, even though for a split second I thought it was Kai, who was also wearing a red shirt and has long-ish brown hair and big brown eyes. But then the real Kai walked up to me while the Not-Kai was at my feet. The strange kid put his hands on my feet and started sniffing my toes (I was wearing flip flops.)  A lady happened by and laughed as she saw me trying to break free.  She stood there watching and laughing.  I figured she was the mom and was probably thinking, "Oh my Little Billy. There he goes smelling feet again!"

"Is he yours?"  I asked her.

"No!  I thought he was yours!" she replied, and she walked off laughing.  Meanwhile, I grabbed hold of the kid's head and tried to push him away, but he kept his nose on my toes (which, incidentally, is the inverse of "toes on the nose," a term for hanging ten--or five--on a longboard.)  Finally, it was just too damn creepy and I bent over and got my hands under the kid's armpits and yanked him up. He was a young kid, maybe 5, but I was afraid his next move was to lick my feet and then I'd have to punch him.

"Uhhhhh, what's goin' on, dude?"  I asked.

He just smirked and broke free, and down he went again, jamming his face between my toes.    When I tried to walk away, he grabbed my calf.  I wiggled loose and got the hell out of there. Um, that was weird.

I found Bell at the checkout stand explaining to the cashier that "Lego" land should not be out of Legos, particularly the ones he had made a special trip for.  It's not like no one ever wants hinges and wheels, the argument went, and what did they mean they could not expect a new shipment from Denmark for three weeks?  Have Danes not learned about planning inventory?  The cashier nodded her head and shrugged her shoulders, even after Bell told her the lack of wheels and hinges was "Lame!!!" And he thereafter dubbed the park "Lame-o Land."

We left the Clubhouse and I recounted my story of the strange little boy with a foot fetish. 

Bell suggested that perhaps the child was mentally disturbed.

Ya think? 

Comments

[Riley]

Wow... that is VERY strange about the kid and your foot. I think you handled yourself rather well instead of the screaming "ahh! get off me! get off me!" route I would have chosen.

Legoland used to have a free kids day once a week. Thursdays, I think. Does it still?

[dgm]

but riley, i don't want any free kids! i already have two of my own.

[Kristi]

Free kids would suck. Especially the freaky ones. Free legos would be cool though. So did you stuff all your pockets and purses with the free legos?

[Paula The Surf Mom]

Sounds like that kid is working on becoming a Fox News Channel story.

[dgm]

kristi, i think that's illegal, so um, no. but don't think i didn't want to take the 735,000 pieces that made up the replica of the jefferson memorial and bring it home for a nice coffee table display.

paula, i think he's destined for maury povich. i forgot to mention the coda --he had an identical twin! i saw them after the incident and was about to accuse him when i saw the clone with someone who appeared to be the mother. freaky.

[miss h.]

If it was me i would have let him clean my feet. A six year girl that is my hubbys step sisters girl kisses and licks my feet every chance she gets since she was three years old